I never told you

Hope for the hopeless

Past few days, Weeks, Months actually have been a wreck for me. I have no idea where I'm heading, Where I am, What I want or who I am anymore. Stop the world, I wanna get off. I'm just really tired, Of being so tired but not being able to sleep, I'm so tired of feeling so fucking sad all the time, I'm tired of being so hopeless and useless. I'm tired of feeling, Yet I'm also tired of feeling numb. I'm so tired of living. That sums it up, I'm so, so tired of living and fighting. I'm standing so close to the edge and there's going to have to be something that will push me off. Sooner or later, We all give up, Don't we? I'm so sick of hating myself but I've done it for so long it's as easy as breathing to me now.

I use Twitter much more often than I blog now, Because it's really easier and much more convenient with the SMS applications and all.. So follow me thr for regular updates instead. There is only one thing I can do everyday, And willingly do everyday. I pray, hope and love the hopeless. Choke on my voice, Say gn9 to all the broken hearts out there and say that it's gna be ok. If only I could take my own advice.

So now, This is to all those out there who are going thru loads of motha fuckin' shit in life, Whether it is about school, R/s, Friendship, Life, Love, Family or anything. Don't give up bcuz it's alright.. :) There are no unwounded soldiers, Hold on tight, We'll all hope for a better tomorrow and we'll all be alright. Hold on tight, It's only life.. :') Irina loves all of you out there.

These days, Even breathing is a bother. I have a huge decision to make before next week or so.. It's about quitting school. Should I? Really..? I'm unsure, My plan was to quit for a year or so and then return. But the problem now is that I might not have to strength to return to school as a sec 2 student all over again after the years, And private schooling is waaaay too expensive to afford.. Mummy might even be loosing her job in september. So maybe, I should try out half day schooling before deciding, Right...? Sigh, Right now, Life has been tough on me, But not only me, Everyone. My sisters, My best friends, And many out there. I guess we're all a little lost inside..

Alright, I'm gna end off here now. Even blogging is tiring me out! Haha, I can totally say that depression kills. Depression is so much more than an emotion, And I totally give up on all hope that anybody will understand what I feel. It's cliche, Everybody hurts sometimes. I'm not gna compare.. But the pain just got too much to handle. The pain cuts deep, So my blade cuts deeper. Ok, Gna end off here. Follow me on twitter okiz!!!!!!! Much love to all, Lets all hope for the hopeless :') Gna go for a light and crash. All over again. Bye.

Only when I'm alone can I really fall apart